Written by Head Girl Leni (Year 12)
Alone together: Memoirs from a socially awkward volunteer
I wasn’t quite sure what to write for this blog, with so much happening so fast in the world it’s a little difficult to know where to start. So instead of looking at how we have become so much more connected with the rest of the world, I thought I’d say a little on how we have become more involved with our local community. With everyone trying to find more ways to be useful I was determined to help out, but as a socially awkward teenager this has turned out to be more challenging than previously expected. Here are a few tips on volunteering for the socially awkward.
Awkward pauses on zoom calls:
COVID quarantine presented the challenge of all volunteering work needing to happen in a socially distanced manner. I ended up having weekly chats with a young man, who had been identified by a charity as a vulnerable member of the Oxfordshire community. Of course, these chats were over Google Meets and WhatsApp video calls which came with some unexpected challenges. In our first few calls, the silences between awkwardly-phrased small talk were so very painful that I could quite literally feel my skin itching as weak conversations were further fragmented by constant buffering. However, there are a few tips and tricks I have learnt for conversations when talking isn’t really your thing.
TIPS AND TRICKS NUMBER ONE
Whether you can bake, draw, or play virtual versions of monopoly, having things to do that aren’t reliant on an insightful and interesting conversation are super helpful. I found that having a physical list of different simple and fun activities we could do together next to my screen really helped the whole situation, as in any pervicacious (what a word) pause I could refer back to my paper. Also, if you’re feeling a tad awkward and nervous, remember the person you’re talking to likely is too. Addressing and having a giggle about the awkwardness of the set up could really help lower your heart rate and start up a conversation.
Tai Chi for the uncoordinated (plus more awkward pauses)
I decided that another way I could attempt to be a good citizen was through creating an event for my neighbours, some of whom live alone. I’m not quite sure on the chain of events that led to it but this activity ended up being Tai Chi for my Cul De Sac. I think this is where I went wrong.
TIPS AND TRICKS NUMBER TWO:
- If you can’t do Tai Chi without looking like a broken weather dial, don’t lead classes doing it. Where possible stick to simple things that you are super confident doing. Whilst you don’t want to belittle any participants, interpretive dance or extreme weightlifting lessons are not necessary when really the objective is to get conversations going.
- Keep activities like yoga or Tai Chi within a strict schedule. Knowing that you will only be out doing this activity for fifteen or twenty minutes will make it massively more manageable. Without a time frame, activities can trail into a cringe-worthy session of small talk that indefinitely elongates your session. For me, I set up Tai Chi daily thirty minutes before I had another lesson so there was always a handy excuse for me to shuffle back home.
Coping with repeated rejection from a Border Collie
Once again I was enticed into a seemingly simple opportunity to help out a neighbour in the form of Hollie the Border Collie who needed daily walks. Hollie’s owner was over seventy and so was staying isolated and inside during quarantine, and required a little help with giving Hollie the exercise she needed. Happily signing up to spend half an hour with a cute little ball of fluff, I was in no way prepared for the power struggle that ensued between me and Hollie, the three-foot master manipulator. On our first week of walks Hollie would eagerly run out of the front door towards me, clock it was me, then run right past. Once leashed up she would stop every three metres almost just to prove who was really in control of the walk and god forbid I ever let her off the lead. A few times she tricked me into letting her off with her facade of fluff, only for her to turn, look me in the eye, and sprint. In other news, I can now run a good 800 metres down a river path wearing wellies whilst screaming profanities at a giggling Collie in a surprisingly short time.
TIPS AND TRICKS NUMBER THREE
- Don’t let dogs that aren’t yours off the leash, the stress of losing a pet that’s not yours is execrable (another good word).
- Doing a favour like walking someone’s dog offers you the golden opportunity to have a quick chat with a neighbour or friend who may be finding COVID-19 quite a scary, confusing time, especially if they are forced to isolate within their house. Don’t underestimate the impact a five-minute chat can have on someone’s day.
“All in all, I think quarantine has got us moving at a slower pace through life and that allowed us to see the small things we have been missing out on doing. Rushing from one place to the next doesn’t leave much space for the odd chat or favour for a friend but little things like this have definitely helped me feel a little less useless in an otherwise wobbly time in our lives.” – Leni (Year 13)