Aluma Esmie Warne, who currently works as a doctor on the bone infection ward at Nuffield Orthopaedic Centre in Oxford, was forced to postpone her wedding to fiancé Ben, an army doctor, back in early March before this country knew the full extent of what was in store.
With heavy hearts, the couple decided to move the wedding back to October, knowing that a lot of their guests were doctors and the risk of exposure to the virus at the event would be high. We’d like to wish Esmie and Ben a very happy future together and to thank them both for their heroic work on the front line against Covid- 19.
Esmie and Ben shared the full story with The Sunday Times in this article (26th April 2020) –
“We spent our first year together in London before I went back to Brighton, where I was studying. I moved to Oxford after graduating and Ben was in Harrogate, but we still saw each other long-distance. Then Ben got the letter from the army, asking him to go to Sandhurst. It was difficult because I was working lots of night shifts as a junior doctor and he was away a huge amount, with only the odd day’s leave. I remember driving through the night to see him after finishing a shift and my phone with the map died. I just stopped the car and started to cry. I thought, what am I doing?
I always knew I wanted to be a doctor. I suppose I’ve always liked helping people when they need it most. At the moment I am working on a bone infection ward at Nuffield Orthopaedic Centre, in Oxford, and my job has changed a lot since the Covid-19 outbreak. To relieve pressure in A&E we are now taking patients directly from the community, so you don’t know if they have the virus or not. It’s a worry when everyone you know is exposed. We all wear a mask, which feels safe, but I hope they have enough in store. My sister, who works on a COVID ward, has had it and so have four of my friends working at other hospitals. It’s stressful and people are nervous, but there is a huge sense of community among NHS staff.
I never imagined we’d be cancelling our wedding because of the outbreak. Ben proposed on a weekend away in Bath last year and the plan was to get married in Cornwall, throw a big party, and have Ben’s best man fly in from Australia.
I wasn’t really worrying until hearing the peak in cases in the UK was predicted to be at the end of April, right when our wedding was booked. And when they started to bring in the isolation of vulnerable people, I began to feel unsure. It would mean grannies couldn’t come and lots of the guests were doctors working in hospitals, so there was the risk of exposure to consider. In early March, we decided it would be wrong for the wedding to go ahead and postponed it until October. Part of me was gutted. The dress, the flowers, everything was sorted. But there was also relief that we weren’t in limbo anymore. Luckily, everyone from the marquee company to the caterers has been super understanding. They know we’re in unprecedented times.
“You have to look at the bigger picture — this isn’t about us. Across the country, people are doing amazing things — from the volunteers to the people delivering food parcels. And the clapping, which is a real tearjerker.” – Esmie
When this is over, the first thing we’ll do is get married. Ben had a pipe dream to get a van and travel around Europe, mountain climbing. Getting out into the wilderness seems like a great idea. Just the two of us.
I’d had a few pints the night I met Esmie, but I remember thinking she was really pretty and that I wanted to speak to her. We got chatting and had a lot in common — we both have two younger sisters and family who are doctors.
We exchanged numbers and were texting for a day or two, then Esmie said, enough of this, let’s go on a date. I told Ez I loved her after about a week, which sounds weird but I just knew it. I’d been dating quite a lot of girls at that time, but she had this vibrant, outgoing personality and came across as someone who seized opportunities.
I come from a very medical family. My mum, sister, two uncles, cousin, and grandparents are all doctors, so I always knew I wanted to go down that path. While I was at sixth form, the army gave me a bit of money as part of a scholarship scheme. I kind of thought they had forgotten about me when I went to university because I didn’t hear anything for years. Then they sent me a letter telling me it was time to get to Sandhurst.
At that point, Esmie was working in Oxford and I was at a hospital in Harrogate, with plans to go into obstetrics and gynecology. I could have paid the money back, but I liked the idea of doing something different for a bit. My dad was in the army, so I thought, why not? And I went.
The adjustment was hard. I was working in an army primary care clinic and going off abroad on exercises. I was knackered all the time and hardly got to see anyone, so Ez and I had a break for about nine months, which was horrible. We didn’t speak and I spent the whole time hoping we would get back together, but I’d started to give up. Then, one morning while I was in clinic, I got a message from Ez saying we should give it another go.
I’d always said to myself that if we ever got back together, I would marry her. As soon as we patched things up I set my mind on that and proposed a few months later. The original plan was to get married down in Cornwall, where a lot of Esmie’s family are from.
The first moment I thought Covid might affect our wedding was when things started kicking off in Italy. I’d arranged our honeymoon there, so I thought, well, that’s going to be off the cards. Then, when they went into full lockdown, I knew that was it for us.
I think lots of the family saw it coming, but it was particularly hard for my mum, who had been making our cake. All her amazing decorations have had to go in the freezer. My best man cancelling his flight was disappointing too, but it gives him more time to work on his speech.
Ez was the person I felt the most sad for because she had put so much work into the wedding, although I was also pretty pissed off. Then, one evening, I was listening to the radio and heard this poor lady who was stuck in her house with diabetes and heart problems. I thought, come on, we’ve just had to cancel a party, at least we’re not worried for our lives.
I’m in a regiment that supports the NHS and over the past month we’ve been trying to prepare for all eventualities and roles that we might have to take. I’m essentially a junior doctor in the army, which means I’ve dealt with minor stuff and major traumas here and abroad, but the virus is a different challenge.
I worry a lot about Esmie because she’s working in a hospital and you don’t know which of the patients coming in have it and which ones don’t. But I’m also really proud of her. She’s got this attitude that no job is too big or small for her. And she has the ability to achieve whatever she puts her mind to, which is why she is so good at her job.
There is a huge sense of unity in society at the moment and it feels good to have everyone pulling together in the same direction. What will I do when it’s all over? Marry Ez. And feel very lucky about it.”